Expectations

Throughout the entire application for the Peace Corps they talked about flexibility and expectations.  I've learned things rarely turnout as you expect them to in life but when they say this in the Peace Corps they mean it. This wasn't going to be an issue for me, I was a nurse, a pediatric nurse at that, flexibility was my middle name.  I prepared myself for anything and truly thought I was going into the PC without any expectations and ready to take on whatever came my way. Turns out...I had expectations.

I obviously expected things to be difficult and there to be challenges which of course there are, but I was caught off guard when the challenges were not the ones I expected.  It's funny how things work like that.

First off, I was smacked in the face with homesickness.  I really honestly didn't think this would be an issue for me and wasn't until my last few days at home and I began to realize just how difficult it was going to be to be so far from everyone I love.  I've also come to realize that this will be an ongoing struggle for me but talks of friends and family coming to visit and possible a trip home makes 2 years much more manageable. 

I remember having a conversation with some family members before I even knew where I was going in Africa and I told them I was most nervous about the bugs and the heat.  And now here I am, in the middle of Africa, right next to the equator in sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt and using my 15 degree sleeping bag at night.  Don't get me wrong, the sun here is strong and when it's out it is really hot but when it's cloudy it can actually get chilly (I mean 60 degrees not -25, sorry Minnesotans I'm one of those people now)  We are in the rainy season now so I do expect it to get worse during the dry season.  And as far as the bugs, I'm knocking on wood here as I type this, but they haven't been too bad either.  There was about a week where we were invaded by locust/grasshopper looking bugs that were everywhere and seemed to have no navigation as they flew into anyone and anything but I made it out alive.  Incidentally, however, the bugs did not as people here in Rwanda love to fry 'em up for a tasty snack, and yes, I even tried one!  This is how desperate I am to integrate!!

So while I've managed to escape those challenges for the most part there is the unexpected challenge of living in a post-conflict country.  Most know about the tragic history of Rwanda but more important however is the present and future of this country.  The courage and wisdom Rwandans have to forgive and move forward is truly astounding and is an example to the rest of the world.  Because of their resilience I'm not necessarily faced daily with the history but it is still there and there are occasional reminders.  For example, April 1994 was when the genocide occurred, I gave my students a survey on the first day of class and found that most were born the same year and one can't help but wonder what their mother's were going through either pregnant or with new little babies.  

Teaching I, of course, expected to be hard because, well, teaching is hard no matter what country you are in.  What I didn't expect were the ways it would be hard.  When I found out I was going to be teaching biology I freaked out a little, I've been working in a hospital for 4 years and honestly, some of the stuff I was going to be teaching I hadn't learned since I was in 8th grade.  So I was worried about not knowing the content and that there was a good chance I wouldn't have a book to use as a reference.  I have learned now, first of all that I do have a book (plus the internet) and that if I'm going to help any of my students here it's not going to be because they memorized each step of mitosis.  What the students need here are critical thinking and problem solving skills.  They have spent years memorizing facts and definitions but obviously that doesn't do any good.  I need to teach these kids to think, to understand and apply...easier said then done.  The other unexpected challenge related to teaching and currently the toughest is the language barrier.  Two years ago the Rwandan government mandated that all classroom instruction go from French to English.  This happened rather suddenly and without much prep so consequently the students are still lacking in their English vocabulary but they also have a very difficult time understanding me.  They've all been taught English by non-native speakers with thick accents but to them, I'm the one with the thick accent.  So I'm training myself to speak uncomfortably slow, pronounce my "T's" very clearly (it's waTER not wader) and repeat myself, over and over.  It's quite frustrating ad at times it can feel like I don't have control of my class.  They are all very well behaved but for example, the other day during phy ed the boys were playing soccer and some other students were nearby in a circle playing with a volleyball.  The boys kept following their ball into the circle and kept playing with total disregard of the others and I was worried someone was going to get hurt but in order tell them to stop I couldn't just yell at them to stay on their own side of the field.  No, I would need to stop their game completely, gather them, stand in front of them and tell them not to come into the circle all the while acting out what I was saying and shaking my head vigorously and hope that I got my point across.  Sometimes it's just not worth it and I end up confusing them more than anything so I'm leaning to choose my battles.  Everyday at least one of the other teachers asks me if the students understand what I am saying, I tell them no and they all say that in time they will learn and it will get easier.  I hope so, for their sake and mine. 

Honestly, I could go on and on about the expectations, mistakes, assumptions and challenges.  I keep reminding myself though that this is all part of it and that now I can truly call myself flexible, ha! 

All my love!
Annie