Ups and downs

So pretty much everyday since I've gotten to my site I've woken up a little sad and homesick.  One morning this was triggered by a dream I had where my mom, dad and I were going to my grandpa's to eat Booya (soup) my dad had made which in reality happens fairly often and I would do just about anything to make that happen right now.  Another day it was after I watched the sildeshow my sister had posted on her blog, (check it out!  She is ridiculously talented!! www.everydayextraordinary1.blogspot.com) it's absolutely beautiful but it had me crying like a baby! 

But just as consistent as my mood in the morning, I go to bed each night with so much happiness and excitement energized from the day and the kindness I am shown by the people around me.  I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful community (I hope I'm not jinxing myself here!).  Even though the things I do probably seem crazy and my vocabulary is less than that of a 2 year old, everyone is so kind, generous and patient with me.  If this is any sign of what is to come I'm going to have an amazing 2 years here! 

A fellow volunteer described it best when she said that Peace Corps is like being bi-polar.  Here there aren't good days and bad days, there are good minutes and bad minutes.  Things change so quickly and the highs are so high but the lows can be pretty low too.  I'm sure overtime things will even out and truly they have begun to already.  After 2 months of training learning about the do's and don'ts of Rwanda and of Peace Corps I came here worrying about every move I made; what would PC think, what do the villagers think, is it ok to hang out with that person, etc, etc. If I tried to follow all the recommendations PC made I would either never leave my house or offend everyone in my village.  So now I'm working to find a balance somewhere between keeping my boundaries but still being genuine and honest with people.  I'm confident that my own judgment and good intentions will lead to good things and if not then it was out of my control anyway but at least I will know I did what I could.  This change in perspective has taken a lot of the pressure off that I was feeling initially and made things much easier. 

So even though this emotional roller coaster can be exhausting I'm actually grateful to experience both ends of the spectrum.  Missing home has made me appreciate all the things I took for granted and will make it all that much sweeter when I return and of course the highs are what keep me here.

All my love!
Annie